It was not the same
by Ashikawarin
Summary: After the helicopter crash, things takes a turn for the worse. [An imagination on what if Code Blue took a drastic turn after the crash.][As usual my summary skills sucks so bad][Sorry realise I typed the wrong title previously]
1. Chapter 1

"The helicopter failed its landing, we have lost contact with the pilot." the command centre lady shouted as she rushed out of the control room. The usual fast paced lifesaving slowed down. It felt like time came to a standstill. What's happening, was the only thought that coursed through my mind. Why is it every time the helicopter gets into trouble, Shiraishi and Haitani is always on it? Before anyone else could react, Tachibana-sensei echoed what everyone was thinking.

"What? What do you mean it failed?" his voice clearly in the state of shock and fear.

"We have no information, we just got the call that it crashed." the command lady replied with the equal fear. It's like something clicked in everyone after that final sentence. I stood up from the table wanting to pull out my phone, but Saejima beats me to it.

"I can't through to Shiraishi's phone. I'm going to try Haitani-sensei." she announces as she dialled the required number. On the other side, Yokomine announces she would try Yukimura's. Our entire lifesaving team waited in silence for any form of reply. There was nothing but the beeping of the machines. I used to find peace in those sound. It's the sign that someone could be still fighting for their lives, but today I hated it. Before anymore silence could engulf us, I felt my emergency phone ring. My heart beat started to escalate as I saw the ID caller.

"Shiraishi, what happen? Are you alright?" I questioned with the much needed worry. Her voice, usually coated with kindness and concern could put me at ease regardless of the situation. However this time it did nothing of that sort.

"I'm alright, my leg seems to have been caught in a bad angle but I'm still able to work. The pilot says the he was caught by surprise when something slammed into the windshield of the helicopter causing him to lose control. However the helicopter crashed on Haitani-sensei side. He's out cold. I've checked his pulse, it seems fine. It should be just a mild concussion, but we'll have to do further checks. I'll begin treatment at my best ability, please send in two ambulance. Thank you." she concluded her situation before I could get a single word in. I glance around the room, everyone was already packing for the ambulance that she requested for. There is no time to dwell on her status much longer, we have a job to do. However, that doesn't stop me from worrying about what's going to happen next.

* * *

I hung up the phone with Aizawa and took in my surroundings. This was not a situation we could walk away from unscathed. There was definitely going to be an investigation, I didn't know how to handle it. But as for this moment we have a bigger problem on hand. With my second doctor down I have to make haste to give treatment. I instructed Yukimura to assist the other boy while I hobbled my way to the boy who was in a fit of a seizure, just by looking I know that he might not survive this. Regardless of our helicopter situation. I took his pulse and checked his eyes for any light reaction. It's too weak, his eyes was dilated. His heart beat was weaken as the second went by. I look over to the other boy, he was still conscious. My heart raced against my mind. I knew that the boy before me can't be saved. He's in seizure with red patches forming across his skin. It's an allergic reaction, I've read about this before. Without the proper equipment and information, there was no way this boy would survive. In the crucial moment, I made a choice. I intubated him to allow his breathing to be easier, making his passing less painful. I then announced to pilot to carry the boy out of the water and hold him down till the ambulance come. I made my way towards Yukimura and started the treatment for this young men instead. From the distance, I could hear the screams of a middle aged mother. With every scream and cry, I felt my heart break a little.

* * *

I leaped out of the ambulance as fast as I could and raced across the field. The ambulance that carried Tachibana-sensei arrived slightly before, had carried off the other parent towards our hospital. I was hoping to pick up the last patient to administer any form of needed medical treatment, however there was none of that. Instead I was greeted by a view of Shiraishi maintaining a perfect 90 degree bow towards an anger filled middle aged women. A simple look to my left I saw that a white cloth was draped over a young man with our pilot standing by his side. It was an easy situation to piece together. Just as the shouting begins to slow down. Yukimura calls for help from the back, Haitani needed treatment.

* * *

Two days later, the helicopter returns to us in a perfect functioning state. But we can't ride it. The investigation starts today, and it's going to be a long one. Takazuki came from a famous family line in Japan. They manage to cause a huge uproar on the situation forcing the hospital to pull off a full investigation. We aren't going to come out of this situation without having to give up something in return, that's what Fujikawa said. I don't want to even think of what were the possible outcomes of this case. I clipped the last report into the file. There had to be enough information to let the patients family understand that Shiraishi did what she had to do.

Tachibana, Shiraishi, Yukimura, Haitani and I gathered in the meeting room. Opposite us, the family members of Takazuki as well as Hoshino. They intended to sue the hospital for letting their son die. We had to do everything we could to defend our doctors. The lawyer asked us to give our side of an explanation. I cleared my throat and spoke up

"Given the situation Shiraishi was in, she handled it at the best. After analysing the situation, and doing a final autopsy we found that it was impossible to save the boy, Takazuki, who had an allergic reaction. Even if the helicopter was working fine, he would have passed away on his way to the hospital. We didn't have enough information on his allergies, making it impossible to administer any form of treatment without the chances of causing another reaction. Shiraishi helped ease his breathing to allow his passing to be less painful. I think that was the best that could have been done. As for the other patient, Hoshino, he had the higher chance of survival between the two. We've gave him the treatment he needs. He's now resting in the ICU." I passed the medical file to the head of the hospital. I'm sure they would understand. But I was wrong. The Takazuki family was not accepting it, they didn't not accept the fact that their son didn't stand a chance.

I shifted my eyes to my right, hoping to catch a glimpse of Shiraishi and Haitani. No one on this table could possibly understand the guilt they are facing. Haitani hasn't looked up even once since the meeting started, as for Shiraishi, she looked worst. She was holding it together for everyone's sake. But from the dark circles and slightly puffy eyes, I knew she had been crying. This was going to take a toll on them. Especially Shiraishi who would only take the responsibility on her own shoulders even though she couldn't have known what was going to happen. I started to clench my fist, rubbing my thumb against my finger as the meeting continued.

Just as we were about to dive into how the helicopter crashed, my emergency phone buzzed against my chest. I answered without hesitation. On the other line was Hiyama.

"Aizawa, Hoshino-san is experiencing a drop in oxygen level. There are black patches forming all over his hand. I've seen this before back when I was a fellow. It's a bacteria disease. There's almost no chance for him now, call his family from the meeting. Hurry" She ends the call and in that moment, I knew we are in for a big trouble. After repeating what Hiyama had just conveyed, we ended the meeting for Hoshino family to hopefully catch their son alive for one last time.

* * *

I couldn't believe my ears, an infection. From that small cut on his hand, even though I took the steps to disinfect it. As everyone in the meeting room dashes towards to lifesaving department, I lingered behind. Where is this situation going to bring our lifesaving department to? I didn't want to think about it.

"Haitani-sensei, please head home and rest. We don't want your head injury to get any worse." I turn towards him, he was timidly standing behind me. Ah, how he reminds me of myself 9 years ago. Scared to do anything, or say anything out of line. I felt sorry for him, I know for sure that whatever has happen in the past few days would definitely take a toll on him. He doesn't reply me, just simply nods his head and walks away. How could I help him I wondered? Maybe I'll have a chat with him tomorrow, for today I needed as much rest as he did. If I had known what was going through his mind, I would have stop and talk to him regardless of how tired I was.

The next morning arrived, and I limped my way into the lifesaving department. Just as I was about to enter the staffroom, I see Aizawa making his way towards me. I wanted to greet him good morning, but as I saw his face I knew something had happened.

"Haitani came in yesterday night, reports was that he fell into the railway track. Whether he jumped or fell, I think you should ask him. He's resting in the private room." He answered my unspoken question as he came to stand before me. He's eyes conveyed his unspoken concerned for me. He must be worried on how I would react to this news. I wanted to force a smile on my face but somehow I knew he would see right through me. So I just nodded my head, and entered the room. Eyes trained on the floor as I felt his presence behind me.

I made my way to the changing room all the while thinking of how to ask Haitani what had happen. Hiyama and Saejima often told me I'm dense and tactless, I didn't want to hurt Haitani any further. But dragging the situation might make everything worst. I got into my scrubs and made my way towards the private room where he was resting.

"I'm coming in." I waited for a reply but there was none. I slowly cracked open the door to find that Haitani had covered himself with the blanket. I wished that I could be to him what Aizawa was to me that rainy night. Words were the easiest things to say and the hardest things to take back. I didn't want to slip up. Not after how I didn't even notice my own junior state of mind. I took a sit on the sofa by his bed and wondered what could be the right thing to do.

"I'm sorry, ever since I arrive I've caused you nothing but trouble. Even now if I didn't faint I could have helped you." I heard him whispered from under his blanket. I let the silence in the room engulf us, it's quiet and suffocating. I don't always know the right things to say, but I'm hoping that this could be one of the times.

"Please don't apologise. I will never fully understand the guilt and pain you are going through. I know that it's hard, but I hope you understand that you aren't alone. We are here with you. In lifesaving, we are a team. In order to save someone's life in the shortest time required, we need to work together. I hope that I could have voiced this out to you earlier. I'm sorry for not noticing the pain you are going through. I'm your senior but I'm also your mentor and most importantly, I hope that I am your friend. I want to be someone you can confide in. So please, Haitani-sensei." I pleaded with him. I hoped that my words could reach him. I hope that he would eventually find his way around. From his body outline, I could see him nodding his head. I hear soft whimpers coming from under the blanket. I decided to leave him alone.

* * *

"This situation has taken a turn for the worst. Takazuki family will not back down until they see a form of compensation from the hospital. They have publicly announce what they feel of the situation. Their son might not have stood a chance but their son's friend did. They are insisting that we've sent down a pair of inexperienced doctors. The hospital has admit that they will take action." Tachibana-sensei concluded his meeting with the senior doctors. There was silence in the room, we could hear a pin drop. Hiyama reaches her hand out and grab hold of Shiraishi's.

"What's the hospital course of action? What have they decided to do?" I voiced out. My heart was pounding against my chest. The worst case scenario was that they insist we discharge both doctors from our department. But if that happens, what were they going to do. Tachibana scans the room, meeting each of our eyes.

"Everyone leave the room. I want a private chat with Shiraishi." His order was met silence. Nobody moved an inch. I couldn't help but wonder if we were all thinking the same thing.

"Please go, we can't have all our senior doctor away. Aizawa-sensei, please, I'm counting on you today." She mumbles with her voice almost on the edge of breaking. It's just like her to only worry about lifesaving rather than herself. I felt the need to not fail her intensify. I nodded briefly and grabbed Fujikawa upper arms. Together with Hiyama in tow, we left the office with a heavy heart.

* * *

"Tachibana-sensei, for this incident, please let me take on the responsibility. It was my fault that Hoshino passed on, I should have paid more attention to the cut. As for Takazuki, I was the one that made the choice to not save him. It was no one's fault, but if someone had to take responsibility, I would." I spoke as the door closes behind Aizawa. From my seat, I saw Tachibana-sensei shoulder sagged in defeat. He let an audible sigh and buried his head into his hands.

"Shiraishi, it was no one fault. Why do you always jump to take responsibility when it wasn't something that could be controlled? No one expected the helicopter to crash. And just as the report showed, there was nothing further that could be done for Takazuki. We couldn't have traced the bacteria unless we had known about it. Why not we think of another solution." He pleaded with me. He knows I've made up my mind.

"If there was another way, we would have thought about it already. I think this is the best course of action. The longer we prolong this case, the further the toll it will take on the team. We can't afford to be distracted. With this I believe the case will come to a rest. Also, please approve of Haitani-sensei leave. I think he needs time to recover, I think it's best to let him rest. And, one last request. Don't tell him what has happen till after he returns." I said as I walk towards Tachibana-sensei's table and place the letter on his desk.

* * *

The rest of morning went by without much activity. There was a tension hanging over everyone. The nurses' whispers among themselves worried about the situation, while the fellows tries their best to follow up on the patients left by Haitani. As for the senior doctors we move around the department with the much needed concentration. Shiraishi acts like nothing has happen. She moves around the department with her usual work attitude. But we all felt like something was wrong. We've known her for 9 years, she was obviously hiding something. But if she wasn't ready to say anything, we weren't ready to pry.

Mid-afternoon arrived, the others went for their rounds while Shiraishi slips out of the office. I made the decision to confront her on what has happen. I know where she would be, she was always there when something went wrong. I got us 2 cans of coffee before heading out to the Heli-pad. There she was, leaning against the railings staring out into the field. She must have heard the door closing behind me as she turns the other way to wipe the tears off her face.

"What is going to happen?" I question as I pop the lid off the coffee can before handing it to her. For a moment, she chose not to reply me. She simply took the coffee and gave me a fake smile. I waited for her to say something, we've shared many things over the course of 9 years I know she would eventually tell me the truth.

"I am not going to be a flight doctor anymore. I don't know if I'll still be a doctor, I guess I'll figure it out once my long break is over." She clutches the coffee can tighter as she answers me. I was stun. For a long while there was only silence between us.

"Once again, you are taking too much responsibility. How is this your fault? As a doctor you should understand. The result of the 2 patients would have been the same regardless of who was on scene. You are always putting lifesaving before yourself, maybe this time, it's time to care for yourself first." I stressed as I turn to face her. She was tearing up.

"If I don't take responsibility, who will? It wasn't anyone's fault but at the end of the day someone has to step up. Hayakawa-san wasn't expecting something to hit the helicopter in a no fly zone. He was caught by surprise but did his best to land us as safely as possible. Haitani-sensei has his whole life career ahead of him, there is no way I'm letting this incident destroy it. They both deserve a second chance, and so I as staff leader as well as mentor will take on this responsibility." She pleaded as she wiped away the tears that have fallen from her eyes.

"Who's going to give you a second chance? Do you understand? If you take the blame for this incident, there could be a possibility that you'll never be a doctor again." I retaliated as I began to clench my hands. She only thinks of lifesaving, and now she is willing to throw away everything she worked hard for.

"Yes! I do understand! But please Aizawa-sensei, remember that this is my second chance. I took away Kuroda's ability to work, this department and the reputation of Doctor Heli but I was still given a second chance. Everyone on that flight with me deserves theirs." She snapped as she took a step closer to me, challenging me to refute me. Just as I was about to argue back, my emergency phone rings and the command lady's voice sounded.

"There was been a major accident along the highway, Doctor Heli has been given permission to start flight now. Doctor Heli, engine start." The lady ended the call. I made a quick instruction to bring an extra medical bag as I was already at the pad. One last look at Shiraishi and I dashed off into the helicopter.

I wished we had more time to talk about this before she made her final choice. But I was too late. When the mission ended, and all emergency patients has all been given treated, we were already well into the night. I made my way into the staff room to grab my stuff before heading home. Part of me hoped she would be waiting there. To greet us, to say that we've work hard today. But she wasn't there, instead on her table there was her staff badge, the emergency phone, her stethoscope and her scrubs. The next morning, the investigation team attended the lifesaving department morning meetings and announced.

Doctor Shiraishi Megumi is, as of now discharged from Shohoku Lifesaving Department.

* * *

Hey! This is sorta my notes:

I feel like I am ready to move on from the sadness of Code Blue ending. The fics here will keep me going till the movie comes! But I'm ready to watch another show now. HJAHAHAHAHAH  
Anyway, here is a short story on a scenario on what code blue decides to take a more drastic turn. [I know that the medical terms and situation are not real at all but please let it slide ]

As usual, I hope the scenes aren't too confusing. And the characters are alright.

Anyway, Here is a shout out to everyone who've read my first story "Understanding" and my other story of "Warmth" as well as "Feelings"  
[Side note, I really wanted to keep this fic title in a one word thing but I couldn't think of a okay one so hence]  
To everyone giving me a review on my other 3 fics, thank you thank you thank you, though I didn't reply one by one [I actually don't know how cause I use my phone and I just can't figure it out]  
The reviews really makes me smile, I usually check on my social media stuff and all of these right before I get up for work so you guys really help kick off my day to good start!

I hope you'll enjoy reading this, hopefully by the end of this fic, my heart would have settled over this awesome show.

Do leave what you feel or think about this story!

Thank you all so so much!

To anyone reading this anywhere in the world,

Have a good day/afternoon/evening/night!  
Let's spread love and joy and kindness, cause the world is a hard enough place to live in.

Live well, and live right! Sending love from my little home to yours!


	2. Chapter 2

Aomori was a small and beautiful town off the tip of Japan. It was one of the last towns before Japan breaks into the sea and beyond that lie Hokkaido. The train will run across the peaceful landscape and behind it, the mountains. When the train run across the huge river and if you were lucky, you can catch one of the most amazing sunsets reflecting upon the waters. I take in my surroundings as I alight from the train. Ah, I remember the moments where I would sit at the station waiting for the train. When it arrives, my father was always in it.

As I begin to make my way through the town, memories floods me. How I spent my first festival cladded in the cutest kimono, walking by the river bank as the Sakura petals fell all around us. Or holding my crush's hand as we walked towards the palace that reminded us of Edo Japan. The ramen shop where I got my heart broken for the first time. The bridge overlooking the sunset, the place where I decided that being a doctor was more important than any boy I'll ever meet here. The small bookstore where my father got me my first medical novel. The park when I first saw Doctor Heli in operation and my father right beside the patient informing the flight doctor what he had observed.

A small town like ours needs the Doctor Heli system, we are too far off the nearest hospital. That was my goal when I first started out, to bring the system to my hometown. I've given up much of my days to study, to pursue this goal. To catch up with my father. And yet, now I'm here and he's not. Here I am back in my hometown, but unable to make my dreams a reality anymore. I take in a breath of fresh air as I make a turn into a tiny dessert store. He used to love the mochi sold here, I smile to myself remembering the rare days we would wonder into this store. The bench I used to always perch on to catch the activity happening outside while they chose which flavour they should try.

"Megumi? Megumi, is that really you!" the store owner announce as he came to the counter front. He's has not change one bit, Ikuta-san was our schools prized baseball player. There was always the buzz about him, how he was definitely going to qualify for the national team or how he's going to represent Japan in the Olympics. All that pressure and expectations on his shoulders, but he crushed everyone's dream for him when he announced he was dropping out of school to take over the family's business. I admired him, he knows what he wants and never bothered about the people's surroundings.

"Ikuta-san, it's been so long. How have you been? "I said with a smile across my face, thinking to myself maybe the turn of events could be a blessing in disguise after all.

"Mom, I'm home!" I shout into the house. After my father passed, my mom moved in with her friend. Together they run a small tea shop just opposite of their home. Part of me felt guilty knowing I will never be able to accompany her for as long as I work in Lifesaving. But my parents had constantly reminded me to pursue what I love. They've came to understand that I love Lifesaving, love being the staff leader and most importantly, loved the fellows that I've grew up with over 9 years.

"Come on in Megumi, look at you, you've change so much since the last I met you." My mother says as she gathers me in her arms. The warmth of a love one can never be replace. The countless of lone nights spent in Tokyo. In my apartment alone, staring out of the window wondering what a different life I would have led if I chose to be concentrated on young love rather than studying. Tears starts streaming down my face as I bury my head into my mom's shoulder. Her shoulder, the one that has and will always be there for me. Regardless was it a bully in school or a boy who broke my heart. It didn't matter if it was a failed exam or my father's passing. The guilt of choosing to save Hoshino instead, the pain of knowing he didn't stand a chance either. The loss of my title, the heart wrenching moment of leaving behind my cherish friends. It came all crashing into me as we slowly sink to the ground, her gentle pats down my spine, her soft whispers that it will be alright.

* * *

The day started like any other, a meeting, an update on patients, and a routine round with the entire staff. But although on the staff list everyone was present, it didn't felt complete. Letting out a sigh, I head into the staff area and took up the files. Some of these patients belonged to Shiraishi. We've separate her work among the seniors, her table remains untouched. As if we were all sure that she would be back. 9 years, that was how long we've known each other. Originally, I thought she was timid and shy. Quite my opposite actually and yet somehow, we've turn into good friends. She led the team with patience and grace. She had never once doubted me, she even advised me to pursue my specialization. Ah, she even helped convince Haruka I wasn't a bad man. This team remains strong and going because she never chose to give up. I've owed her much over the years but yet, when she needed help I could do nothing but stand by and watch. I push myself away from the laptop, it's no use I wasn't concentrating. Maybe I should get a snack. I turn to my right and notice the pile of noodles has been restocked. She must have restocked it before leaving. I reach over for a sesame flavoured one and smile to myself. It's just like her to always think of us before anyone else. I should focus, that would be the best way to repay her. Lifesaving was more than her life, and I would uphold her dream. Her legacy.

* * *

I announce that I was going to do my rounds and both Natori and Yokomine jumps up. The fellows are working hard. Shiraishi had already left for over a week, and Haitani was back. When we broke the news to him, it wasn't easy. He looked like he was on verge of yet another break down. He's prove us wrong, he's working twice as hard as ever. Even now, he requested to be present for an open heart surgery with Tachibana-sensei. I guess none of us want to let Shiraishi down. We will never want the public to even think that Shohoku lifesaving department was made up inexperienced staffs. I nod to the nurses by the counter and heads off with the fellows in tow. Ever since she left, lifesaving seems to have become even more boring. No cases was interesting, nothing gave me the jolt of excitement anymore. Coming back to lifesaving wasn't for the interesting cases but for Shiraishi. Now that she's gone, it felt like the light, the hope in lifesaving left with her. There was no more greetings by the corridor, or coffee cans waiting for us by the table. There was no worried words and concerned questions. There was just work and people tiptoeing over this painful tension. I let go of the breath I was taking in and sighed to myself. She was the radiance that gave lifesaving energy. Not that she would ever know that herself.

* * *

I take one last check off the list before zipping up the bag. It was a quiet day in lifesaving, on days like these she would be standing opposite me stocking the bags. It's not a doctor's job to do it but she helps me any free time she gets. I miss the small conversations and inside jokes we share all the time. Shiraishi was more than just the staff leader, she was a friend. To her, there was no such thing as ranks. There was no doctor and nurse between us. There was just love and friendship. 9 years ago if you had said that we would be where we are now, I would have laughed. She was so shy and good. Never speaking out of line, never taking a wrong step. It irritated me to no extend. She was the perfect daughter, the person I never became. And yet as the years went on, you catch the flaws in her life. The hard work she's done. She wasn't perfect, she was flawed, she made mistakes and she learn to stand back up. For all that imperfections, she was perfect. She embraces her flaws, she find ways to define herself. After all these years, I'm glad to have gotten to known her. I smile to myself as I load the bag into the corner. I took one last look around before heading home, silently feeling that her absence is painfully felt.

* * *

I crack my neck as I made my way into the staff room. It's been a slow day for the helicopter, but the patients in the hospital have gone through some intense surgery throughout the day. And I was beginning to feel the ache in my neck. As I sit myself down, I reach over to my left to grab my coffee only to realise, I didn't get one. Ah, somehow she always knows when I need a dosage of caffeine. Every time I want a drink, she would magically appear with one. But it was no magic, she watches us. She keeps an eye on us all. I glance up, from my view I can still see the stuff she left on the table. Nothing was move, her badge was still neatly place. I guess no one has the heart to acknowledge that we lost our staff leader. I lean back into my chair remembering the conversation we had. She said I would have made a better staff leader but she was wrong. She was the best leader we would get. She leads this team with kindness and courage. Yes, sometimes in order for people to learn they have to fall. Getting back up is the true fight, and more often than not the best way of learning is to get back up on our own. That's how I would've lead the team. But in doing so, we would cut off personal connections. If I haven't met her, I would have left Shohoku to pursue a better career and to only focus on rising through the ranks. I would have addressed patients by their sickness. I would have lost the chance to appreciate my grandmother. Our lifesaving is like a well-oiled machine, we work well together. We understand each other without the need for words. And that's because of her, she ties us together. She ties the 3 fellows together, meeting each other was a chance. However staying together was a choice, she has make them understand that. She has make us realise that. Because of her, we work.

She was the person I had always wanted in my life. Someone to turn to, someone to confide in. She never gives up on anyone, the fellows were practically useless when they joined. And yet, she wanted to train them. She was short on staff and yet she had understood my interest in the offer. She was indeed the perfect staff leader, without her what was this team going to become. I could only hone them in skills but never into a person. With her I was sure it would be different.

I shake my head slightly as I lean forward. Wondering how she was doing back in Aomori, when will she be coming back? When will I get to see her again?

* * *

The days went by without much activity. In the morning my mother would prepare breakfast while her friend got ready the shop. I would opt to walk around the town and meet old friends. As noon arrives, I would head back and help around the store. Life finally has a fixed schedule, I never missed lunch. There was a time and place for me to be at. This clockwork lifestyle, I hated it.

I miss the rush of adrenaline, miss the busy movements of everyone working hard on their own end. When night fell, I will find myself going through my father's old researches. I will sit by the balcony, a research medical book on my lap staring out into the calmness of night. Was this what my father felt when he discovered he had cancer? The need to do something useful, the need to save someone. Two weeks have gone since I arrived back home. I wondered how lifesaving was coping, was Haitani alright. Was Hiyama doing fine alone at home. Was Aizawa still guilty over the operation? I let out a sigh and fell to the ground. Just then the doors slides open and my mother comes in.

"Megumi, let's talk. " my mother said as she makes her way to me with a tray in her hands.

"Megumi, you've been home for two weeks. As much as I love seeing you and having you around, I know you aren't happy here. Maybe you should go back to Tokyo, the heart of Japan is where you belong. Not in a quiet town, I know that being a lifesaving doctor again is close to impossible. But what about the other routes, you could do what your father did. Do research, in your own way you are still trying to save lives. You've always looked up to him, imagine him seeing you like this. Just like you told him before, I'm going to say it back to you. Keep on living, Megumi. Keep on fighting, because regret stays with us forever. When you reach my age and look back on life, you'll be beating yourself for not trying your hardest." she gently says as she takes my hands in hers. I felt tears forming in my eyes as I look at her. My father had always been my role model, but my mother, she was my unsung hero. All those years she watch us grow from the side-lines, quietly supporting us. She never gives up on us. Not trusting my voice, I nod my head.

Two weeks here, it's time to head back. I pack whatever I can into my luggage, while my mother tapes the last of the boxes. My train was scheduled to depart this mid-afternoon. Earlier I gave the professor my father had worked with during his last days a call. I ask if I could continue my father's research. I question if there is any open space for me. Her response calmed my anxious heart, she was more than open to welcome me. She has heard stories about me from my father and have seen the efforts of the Doctor Heli system. She had even suggested that I did my research at Shohoku research centre. I was elated.

My mother walks with me to the train station and hands me a small bento set. Ah, this was the exact same thing she did back when I first left. I remembered being determined and scared. Not really wanting to leave for Tokyo but knowing people's expectations for me. I remembered crying all the way into Tokyo and taking forever to adjust. I take the bento and gives her one last hug.

"Mom, once again from here on, I'm in your care." She nod as I give her hand one last squeeze before boarding the train. I located my booth and loaded my luggage. I was on my way, this time it's not to achieve my dreams but it's to keep fighting. I will not give up, I'll keep going. Just as Aizawa said, I'm going to put myself first.

As the trains' engine roared into life, I felt a jerk and it starts moving. Mid-afternoon, why did I pick this timing to leave. I won't be able to catch the gorgeous sunset. I can't admire the beauty of Aomori coming to the end of its day. I look down on my hands, suddenly remembering what my parents had told me before I left Aomori back then.

"Remember Megumi, you aren't catching the sunset because this is not goodbye. You'll return to catch the sunset once more, you'll be someone different when you return. This isn't a goodbye but a see you again." My parents held me tightly that mid-summer afternoon. Back then, Tokyo was a foreign place with no one I cared for. But now going to Tokyo would be going home. They were there, and they were more than enough. I pop my head out of the window and wave to my mother waiting at the train station. She was a figure getting smaller and smaller by the second. And yet I know that she will be smiling. I take one last look at the rapidly passing town, take in one last breath. I shout into the open.

"I'll be back, that's a promise!" I duck back into the cabin just as the train enters the tunnel. I take out my phone and dial for Hiyama.

* * *

"Shiraishi! It's been two weeks! I miss my landlord! Are you coming home today? I'm not on night shift, let's eat dinner together! "I announce loudly into the phone. She finally called me back, she finally called one of us back. All around me the others stops eating. Even Aizawa stop and turn to face our table. I place her on loud speaker. On the other end of the phone I hear the laughter we've all missed.

"Hiyama! Yes I'm on the train home. Come home for dinner, I'll cook!" Before I could exclaim my excitement Fujikawa interrupted me.

"Shiraishi! Yes cook dinner for us all! Only Tachibana-sensei and the fellows are on duty tonight! Haruka and I will bring the drinks! Aizawa can bring the snacks!" Fujikawa just invites himself and everyone else. On the speaker, we hear yet another laughter before a reply.

"Alright then, make sure Aizawa-sensei comes or I'll have too much left over." I was about to turn to ensure Aizawa heard but I didn't have to. He replies over my shoulder.

"Ah, I'll be there." I saw a smile ghosting on his face.

"Then, we'll see you tonight." I said just before hanging up. In the moment, I could feel the tension ease off my shoulder. I see the tension in everyone slowly fading away. Going home tonight, it won't be to a lonely home. Just then, all of our emergency phone rings and over in Fujikawa and Saejima shoulder the command for Doctor Heli starts. Without finishing lunch, we dash off. As we made our various turns, I feel the adrenaline pumping through me. I smile.

* * *

I was in the process of setting up the table when I hear the door unlocking. Hiyama came in loudly announcing that she was home. Behind her Fujikawa and Saejima waves their bags of drinks. Only Aizawa was as usual polite. He bows and announces his apologies for disturbing us.

"I'm almost done, I just have to set the table and we can start eating." I mention as I turn away from the crowd and heads back into the kitchen. Fujikawa and Saejima took it as their cue to grab the ice and cups for everyone. Hiyama wonders off into the washroom and only Aizawa comes over.

"Let me help you." He says in his usual stoic expression, but his eyes betrays his emotions. He gently takes the plates off my hands and helps set up the remaining of the table. I feel myself smiling, seeing all of us together again. Conversation over dinner was filled with laughter and stories. They update me on how the fellows are doing, Aizawa updates me on how much Haitani has improved since my departure. I hear the update on Hiyama's dating life and the light scolding of Saejima to Fujikawa about being a busybody. As we swap out the main dishes for the desserts that Aizawa brought, I decide it was time to make my announcement.

"I've decided to take up a position in Shohoku Research Centre." I announce across the dinner table. There was silence for that moment, no one moves. I can see their eyes shifting towards each other, silently asking each other who should speak up first. Before I can say something to break the silence Aizawa speaks out.

"That's good to hear, will you continuing your father's research?" He questions me calmly as if knowing that this was the ultimate answer I will come up with. He really does know me well. I smile towards him before nodding my head. I see a smile form on his face, just as I was about to thank him, Fujikawa jumps up from his seat and exclaims.

"This is amazing! We will get to see you around! And here I thought we might never see you again!" Saejima grabs his shirt and yanks him back down.

"Don't say unnecessary things!" She chide at him. Hiyama raises her glass towards me, with the widest smile spreading across her face.

"Here's to Shiraishi! Our saviour for not making us feel guilty about abandoning our trays in the canteen anymore!" I burst out into laughter as I follow her actions and everyone follows suit.

By the time my alarm rings, the house was already empty. Hiyama must have left for her shift early. I moved around the house doing the usual, looking forward to the coming month where I'll officially start back at Shohoku. I got dress to head into town to get the necessary items before starting. Out of pure habit, I packed my pen light into my purse before heading out.

As I was making my way up from the carpark, I hear someone screaming. Followed by a loud screeching sound and an ear deafening crash. The impact knocks me off my feet and the next thing I saw was black smoke raising into the air. There was screams for help and cries of children. Countless of people running frantically away and in every direction. I stumble my way up of the stairways and into the open air. Scanning the surrounding, I located the source of all these noise. A multiple car crash, along with a bus that collided into a street store just outside the mall. It narrowly misses a tiny clinic. Two nurses and doctors dashes out of the clinic with first aid bags slinging over their shoulders. My training kicks in as I run towards the nearest first responders. I explain my profession before requesting for a bag. Firefighters were arriving on site and someone calls me to take charge of command till others arrives. I shift into my gear and got into action of sorting what's needed and designating where each colour should be. All the while keeping in mind that I could not hold a scalpel to operate. From the distance I hear someone announcing that Doctor Heli is on its way. It's going to be hard, this was in the middle of the town, landing the Helicopter will challenging. Not wanting to cause any trouble for my colleagues, I made the choice to leave the site once they arrive.

I hear the Helicopter before I actually see it. Time to go, I stand up from where I was, instructing the nurse to escort the patient I was treating to the green area. Just as I was heading to collect my personal belongings I hear someone screaming for help.

Turning the corner, I spot a young man. His legs were caught under an overturn vehicle, he was covered in blood. I run up towards him and begin to examine his chest. I took out my penlight and check for any pupil reaction. Frantically, I look around me to catch any firefighter.

"Excuse me, once the helicopter land please locate Aizawa-sensei and bring him here. This patient is in need of immediate attention!" I shout as one ran by me. I'm now caught in a terrible position, I know I can prolong this man's life if I can operate but I do not have permission to. As I was thinking to myself how I should go about this situation, a lady ran up beside the man.

"Please be okay, please! I'm so sorry I didn't mean to push you aside. Please. Doctor! Please!" she yells as she reaches out for me. I was about to reassure her, I was about to ask her for permission. I reach my hand out and take hers. I gather all the courage I can conjure up and finally look over. To my utter shock, it was the mother from the Takazuki family. From the look that form on her face, I could tell she wasn't expecting me either.

It felt like someone silenced the world. There was no chaos, no activity surrounding us. There was just her and me staring at one another. She was the women who cause me my career, I was the women who gave up on her son. In no circumstances I thought we would ever meet again. Yet here we are, on another accident site. Her other son fighting for life once more. I was the first to snap out of it. Gripping her hand tightly I announce.

"Takazuki-san, listen. If this goes on your son will be in cardiac arrest. If I don't open his heart and let oxygen through, he's going to die. I know that there is history between us. But I hope you understand that in this moment, I want to save your son. We know the Helicopter is on its way, but landing it could be a problem judging how it's a town area. We can't risk it, please. Please let me operate on your son, give me another chance to save your son's life."

* * *

 **Hey! This is sorta my notes:**

Thank you to everyone who have read this story! For following it, for liking it.  
Major shout-out to : ecchri, summermelon, dearqy, unexpectedAFFReader. Thank you for taking your time to review the first chapter.

To answer summermelon : althought I know it's redundant to, yes I am continuing this! I have about 4 chapters planned for this story originally.  
To dearqy : thank you so much for being able to catch my explanation! I always fear that I don't make sense. I do have plans for Aizawa & Shiraishi. But it's not a full on moment. There will be a scene later on in the next chapter or so though. [Hopefully it's okay]  
To ecchri : I'm sorry it's sad. . . . . . it picks up later on though! It ends in a happy ending! [That's my thinking but i believe it does!]  
To unexpectedAFFReader : I hope whatever I have plan is alright!

Anyway, so here is chapter 2 on this story! Also as usual I know that the medical terms and situation are not real at all but please let it slide...

As usual, I hope the scenes aren't too confusing. And the characters are alright.

PS: I FINALLY CHECKED MY SETTINGS HAHAHAHAHAH I wanted to reply people, but figured so much time has pass so i thought it would be weird

Thank you, everyone here helps kick off my day to good start! I hope you'll enjoy reading this and hopefully it's compelling enough to keep you reading till the end!

Do leave what you feel or think about this story! Thank you all so so much!

To anyone reading this anywhere in the world,

Have a good day/afternoon/evening/night!  
Let's spread love and joy and kindness, cause the world is a hard enough place to live in.

 _Lastly, I'm sorry my notes are always long and all that but with the crazy news on the shooting in Las Vegas._  
 _I just want to say I'm sorry that this tragic incident has to happen, and if anyone reading this is affected by it. I send you my love and support._

 _And to anyone who knows someone that lives in Puerto Rico, I hope they are safe. Keep going and Keep fighting! Never give up!_


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey, Aizawa. Can we talk for a bit in private?" Fujikawa whispers to me just as I was finishing my rounds. I gave a curt nod before turning into the staff resting room. Fujikawa always tries to lighten the mood of the place, for him to do this it has got to be serious. I felt a headache coming on. It's been about 3 weeks since I was made temporary staff leader and dealing with the personal relations is not my strong suit.

"Did something happen during the flight mission this morning?" I question as I lean against the wall. We've all noticed the subtle hesitance in Haitani ever since he returned. I figured over time he'll learn to get over it, and if anything went wrong the senior could deal with it. But there was a certain delay in relaying information today. I figured something must have happened on site.

"It's Haitani, he's been hesitating during missions. Today he didn't have the confidence to give his own assessment on the patient. I know we want to give him time to overcome this fear, but what if something major happens. We can only do so much alone. I think it's better if you talk to him. "He says as gentle as he could. Ah, if Fujikawa is saying this, things must have really been hard today. Because just like Shiraishi, Fujikawa give chances. I let out a sigh that betrays my emotions, he lets out laugh before gently patting my shoulder.

"This responsibility now rests on your shoulders. Thank god they didn't ask me to substitute." I glared at him.

"Maybe you should have, you've been working in the department longer then I have. Also, I'm never one to give good talks. Now it's part of my job." I countered. I can't handle this much longer. I inform Fujikawa that I'll talk to Haitani later. Just as I was leaving the room, Fujikawa calls out.

"Be kind and gentle towards him, don't scare him off because you know you'll do that." He's right, I would end up doing that. Yokomine cries when I'm giving her my thoughts. Natori doesn't care, I've not actually handled Haitani personally before. I rub my fingers together knowing that whatever is coming won't end well. I caught Haitani exiting the operation centre and motions him to follow me. Not noticing that Tachibana-sensei spots what I did and follows. Just get straight to the point I thought to myself. The quicker this is, the lesser our troubles.

"I've heard from Fujikawa about today morning. The seniors have all noticed what's happening, do you want to explain yourself? "I waited for his reply. Is my presence too daunting for him? He's not spoken since we entered the room, neither have he looked up. Maybe I already started the conversation too strongly. The thoughts of how every other senior would have done a better job enters my mind. Shiraishi's right, I have a sharp tongue. Maybe too sharp to lead a team. My train of thoughts was cut short when I heard a whimper from Haitani.

"Aizawa-sensei, I can't go on doing this. I don't think I'm fit to be flight doctor. Ever since I've started, I've only brought trouble. I understand the instructions given but I'm not fast enough. I shake so much that I can't draw blood without trying again. I panic over everything, and waste time double checking everything. Lifesaving is about speed, Flight doctor is about precision. I have none of those traits. Every time I run up towards the helicopter, all I think about it Shiraishi-sensei. How she's not running beside me, how she'll never run again. Every time I'm on site, all I think about it how I fainted and cause Shiraishi-sensei to do the heavy lifting. All I think about is how she's no longer around. Aizawa-sensei, Please, take me off the helicopter. I don't want to cause even more trouble then I already have." Haitani cries out, he curls into himself giving the impression that he's smaller then he already is. Just as I was about to speak up, a voice rang out behind me.

"I understand Haitani. I've heard you, and you have my approval." I turn around only to see Tachibana-sensei standing by the door.

"Aizawa, make the necessary arrangements after this. But listen closely Haitani, I want you to know that I'm not doing this because I believe you aren't suited to be a flight doctor. I believe it takes time. Every single senior here has been through a hard time during their fellowship. They've raised above their challenges and emerged better than ever. One day, maybe not in the near future, but one day you will too. I'll take you off the flight missions, but I want you to shadow me from now on. Wherever I go, whatever I do. Every team needs a supporting personal. Since you don't want to be the lead fighter, then I'll train you to be one of the best supporters. Prove to me, Aizawa and everyone here that you are capable. Prove to Shiraishi that she didn't throw away her future just to watch you give up. But most importantly, prove to yourself that you are better then who you thought you were. You've gathered so much experience through the course of your fellowship, this is the last obstacle. Power through this. Do you understand?" Tachibana-sensei leans towards Haitani, his voice coated with seriousness and encouragement. Haitani doesn't reply, instead he nods his head, sitting slightly straighter.

"Now go and check on the patients, I want to have a word with Aizawa alone." Tachibana instructs him. After Haitani left, I let go of the tension in my shoulders.

"It's not easy, is it? Being too hard and you'll scare him off. Being too gentle and he won't learn. Don't be too hard on yourself Aizawa, everyone have their own strengths. I know you are thinking that you aren't fit to be the leader, but you are doing fine." Tachibana-sensei tells me as he places his hand on my shoulder.

"Why did you choose me? Fujikawa has been here longer, he's been with the fellows longer then I have. He's kinder, nicer. He reads the atmosphere better. Why didn't you make him staff leader?" I asked. This isn't like me, I usually take what comes at me with a sense of pride. But the thought of nurturing new fellows into doctors frightens me. From where I was seated I could see a smile cracking on Tachibana-sensei's face.

"You know, Shiraishi is right. You have a sharp tongue. You are crude in your comments and don't give allowances to the fellows. You remind me an awful lot of Kuroda-sensei. When he was solely in charge of Doctor Heli, he never allowed any fellows to get on. There was a long streak of years without any passing flight doctors. He rarely gave praises, he was the toughest challenge to overcome. Yet, he chose to sacrifice his career to save a fellow. When I heard the news, I couldn't believe it. When I arrive here in Shohoku, and finally saw Shiraishi in action, all of you in action. I finally understood why he did it. Each and every one of you have your own strength. While one lacks in something, someone else excels in it. This team is a well-oiled machine that works. I often think that coming here was the best decision I've ever made. Shiraishi lead this team in her softness and gentleness. The fellows grew accustom to such treatment, they believe that at their pace before was fine. Shiraishi and Fujikawa never wanted to push them because they were on the receiving end of Kuroda's harsh treatment. On the other hand, you were already an excellent fellow when you arrived. Kuroda never needed to teach you much, only roughly guide you. What he needed to teach you was empathy, something which you greatly lacked back then. Somehow, the ones who managed to teach that to you was your peers. I've chose you to be the temporary staff leader because I believe that the fellows have come to understand empathy. Shiraishi has taught them that, but now I need them to understand that in lifesaving it's not all about kindness and heart aches. It's about working hard and saving a life regardless of the situation. I believe the time for gentle teaching and guiding is over, it's time they learn the hard truth of life. Both Shiraishi and I believe that no one is better at that job then you are. So keep going as you are Aizawa, you're doing fine." Tachibana-sensei finishes with a smirk on his face and hands on my shoulders. I took in whatever he had just said, slowly I felt a small smile form on my face. I nodded my head.

* * *

"Yes, this is Shohoku lifesaving department." I answered the moment the phone rang. It was just past lunch hour, and our doctors started pouring into the emergency room. How long has it been since anyone of them had time to eat a full meal in peace.

"Request for Doctor Heli, there has been a multiple vehicle crash. It's in the middle of town square but we are working to clear a path for the helicopter. Please there is quite a number serious injuries, and Shohoku is the nearest hospital." I pursed my lips, in the middle of town. It's going to be a challenge. I look over to the command centre and got the sign that it's okay to head off. I nodded.

"We got it, we'll send in Doctor Heli as well as 2 of our ambulances. Please clear the way. "I delivered the order and hung up the phone.

"Aizawa, Saejima and Yokomine go on the helicopter. The rest of you spread yourself and go by the ambulances. All our vehicles are for utmost emergency only. I'll stay here with Haitani to handle the crowd coming in. Go!" I heard a chorus of yes and soon the room was filled with the sound of footsteps dashing out. Our first major accident without Shiraishi. Let's see how well have she grown these kids into. I smirk to myself as I got ready for the intense day we have ahead of us.

* * *

The helicopter drew nearer into the city. As we closed in on the site, we could see countless of bystanders as well as medical personal running about. I wondered to myself thinking that such a sight was odd to see. Usually people were more frantic and disorganized. I scanned the surroundings as the helicopter came to a standstill in air.

"Alright, Yokomine take charge of triage and the order on how to send the patients. When Natori and Yukimura arrive, they'll help you. "I instructed over the radio before we began to descend. We burst out of the helicopter and together we dashed towards what looked like the command ground. The area looked like someone already gave instructions on what to do and where to send the patients. The field had flags marked with the colour of the triage paper, around them medical personal were already at work. Weird was what I thought, have there already been another hospital called to site? I shook my head, it doesn't matter. If it has already been done all the better for us. I nodded toward Yokomine and scanned my surroundings. Just as I was about to take off, I heard a fireman shouting and waving at me.

"Are you Aizawa-sensei from Shohoku Lifesaving department? There is a patient in need of immediate attention behind! Please follow me!" He dashes off and I follow suit. It did not occur to me that he just addressed me by my name. We turn the corner and for a moment I was stun. Shiraishi was kneeling over the patient holding onto a woman's hand. She wasn't just any woman, she was Mrs Takazuki.

"I understand, I understand that everything you have done up to this point was to save my sons. I trust you, I trust you with my life and his. Please, do what you do best." Takazuki-san said as tears stream downs her face. I felt my heart beat calming down and I nodded.

"Aizawa-sensei please, his head needs immediate attention! I'll tend to his chest. We need to hurry, we've lost precious time." I announced as I began to tie my hair. From the distance I heard him turn on his radio and delivered an instruction.

"Fujikawa, I'll leave the main site to you. We have a complicated patient and it might take a while." He marches over towards me and catches my eye. I felt confidence and determination filling the space between us. Together we nodded and reaches our hand out towards Saejima.

"Scalpel"

"Drill"

* * *

 **Hey! This is sorta my notes:**

Thank you to everyone who have read this story! For following it, for liking it.  
Thank you for taking your time to review the first and second chapter.

To Kohee: Thank you so much for your comment! Really glad that the parts were clear enough!  
To Dearqy: Thank you so much for saying that! I always wondered what will happen if we bump into people we never expect to again in the most shocking situation. I often wonder how I would react to it! Sends my love back to you!  
To Guest: Thank you so much! Here it is! I hope it doesn't disappoint!

So this is chapter 3! Sorry it took so long, I honestly wanted to update this every Saturday since I started but the past week at work has been intense and crazy. So sorry for the delay. Next week would be delayed too cause I won't be in my home country. I'm sorry! [PS man! This is first time I've something planned till a fourth chapter!]

Also as usual I know that the medical terms and situation are not real at all but please let it slide...

As usual, I hope the scenes aren't too confusing. And the characters are alright.

Thank you, everyone here helps kick off my day to good start! I hope you'll enjoy reading this and hopefully it's compelling enough to keep you reading till the end! It's going to end in the next chapter!

Do leave what you feel or think about this story! Thank you all so so much!

To anyone reading this anywhere in the world,

Have a good day/afternoon/evening/night!  
Let's spread love and joy and kindness, because the world is a hard enough place to live in.

 _Lastly, I'm sorry my notes are always long and all_


	4. Chapter 4

A strong gush of wind causes us to look up. The last helicopter of the day has arrive. As the medics prepare to transport the patient onto the helicopter, Aizawa and I stood by. I scan my surroundings, taking note that the chaos that occurred here hours ago showed signs of slowing down. The triage areas were clearing out, and the last of Shohoku Doctors were leaving the site.

"Here take this." I turn my head only to come into view of Aizawa's lifesaving jacket. I must have look confused as he continued.

"Your blouse is covered in blood." he stated. I look down on myself realising what he said was true. I smiled as I took the offered jacket.

"Thank you Aizawa-sensei." As I draped the jacket over me, I heard the paramedic calling for the doctors and nurses to board the Heli. Without giving it much thought, I reach out, grabbing hold of his sleeves. He turns to face me, placing his hands on my shoulders. His facial expressions softens and he offers me a small smile.

"Don't worry, he's stable. I won't let anything happen to him. I promise, I won't let you down." He squeezes my shoulders one last time before jumping into the Heli.

"Welcome! Ah, it's you ugly! Come on in, I'll get you your usual." Mary Jane announced as she danced her way into the bar counter. I couldn't help but smile. Coming here always gives me a peace of mind. The troubles of the day erodes away. The pub was relatively busy today, with pockets of people laughing and catching up. Just as I made my way to the bar table, I spot Aizawa station right at the end of it. He turns towards me and nods in a sign of acknowledgement. I offered a smile back before heading towards him, wondering if I should take my seat next to him or leave a gap. However, Mary Jane makes that choice for me by placing my drink beside Aizawa. I slip into the sit, and took a sip of my drink. Soon, a laughter at the further end of the store filled the air. I turn to see Aizawa looking at me. We smiled at each other before returning to our drinks, letting the comfortable silence engulf us. I missed those days where we would sit by the Heli pad, a coffee can in hand bathing in each other's comfort and silence. I wondered if I'll ever get a chance to do that with him again. I wondered if he thought of the same as me.

Without realising it, the clock chimed. Indicating it was midnight, I felt Aizawa tapping my shoulder before standing up. He's right, better leave now. I took my wallet out to pay but Mary Jane announces that Aizawa had already paid for me earlier. I felt a blush form on my cheeks and a warm sensation spreading from my chest. I thank Mary Jane and heads out of the store, Aizawa stood at the side waiting for me.

"I'll walk you home, it's late." Before I could reply, he turns and heads off towards my home. The warmth spreads even more, as I jogged up to catch up with him. The streets weren't empty but it was silent. People milling about not quite heading home but not quite heading out to party. The sound of my heels against the floor and rustling of our clothes accompanies us as we journey in silence towards my place.

"Thank you for walk me home. Please come in, I would like to return the jacket you lend me this afternoon. I've washed it so there isn't any bloodstains." I requested as I unlock my door to let him in. It was a cold night, I thought it would be nice to offer him a warm cup of tea before sending him on his way. He hesitated for a while at my doorstep before apologising for disturbing and steps inside.

* * *

She invites me into her place without much thought. I'm glad she trusts me enough. Truth is, it is quite a chilly night, having my jacket back would be nice. She serves me a cup of hot tea before heading into her bedroom. Her house is a reflection of her as a person, everything seems neat and tidy. Not a single photo frame was out of place. The only thing that stood out like a sore eye in the living room was the pile of clothes scattered all over the floor. They must belong to Hiyama. Suddenly, there was a loud bang and Shiraishi rushes out of her room to the pile of messy laundry.

"I'm so sorry Aizawa! I totally forgot Hiyama came home earlier! Just after I had folded all of her clothes, she loves to knock them down." she says as she makes haste to tidy up. I felt myself snicker. It was just like Shiraishi to take care of others.

"It's alright, I won't be here long anyway. It's not appropriate. Thank you for the tea though, I know you've notice I was cold. "I thank her before getting up from the sofa. She offers me a shy smile as her cheeks slowly turn red. I reach out to grab my jacket from her before slipping it on, it smelled like her. Heading for the door, I sidestepped the pile of messy clothes with her trailing behind me. Not giving it much thought, I turn just as she reaches her doorstep and took her hands in mine. She gives my hand a tight squeeze and we stood there in silence. The warmth from her hands sipping into mine, suddenly the night wasn't cold anymore.

"Lifesaving is not the same without you around." Slowly she glances up to catch my eye. The pale moonlight reflecting against her wet eyes, her lips parted lightly. I reach out to rub a fallen tear off her cheeks.

"I'm not the same without you." I mumbled resting my forehead against her. The few seconds we shares feels like eternity, finally I shifted giving her cheeks a light peck.

"Good night Kousaku-San." She mumbles back to me before offering a smile. I give her one last smile back before turning away into the night.

* * *

I jolted out of bed, it's a Wednesday morning. Who was calling me nonstop on my phone? I rush over to my table and grab my phone. Just as I was about to answer, Tachibana-sensei hangs up. In less than a minute it buzzes to life once more, this time it was Fujikawa calling.

"Hello?" I questioned.

"Hey! You finally answered someone! Come to the hospital right now! It's an emergency! We can't talk long just hurry!" Fujikawa practically shouts into my phone. Before even giving me a chance to reply, he hangs up the phone. Seconds later, Hiyama and Saejima sends a message insisting that Fujikawa wasn't playing a joke and I should hurry. I felt the rising panic and fear form within me. In my blind rush to get ready I decided to skip the papers lying neatly on the kitchen table and dashes out of the house.

Wow, was my first thought. Why was the hospital buzzing with reporters? They stood at the entrance chatting with each other and taking notes. Was this related to something that happen yesterday? Was the hospital in trouble because I operated on someone?

My heart beats faster with every step I took. Taking a deep breathe I slip into the meeting room.

"Ah, Shiraishi! You are finally here, good!" Tachibana-sensei greets me with a wide smile. Along with him, the senior doctors of lifesaving and our head nurse filled the room. At the far end, the lawyer who handles Shohoku cases. He gives me a curt nod before offering me a smile as a sign of acknowledgement. Just as I was about to apologise for any trouble I've caused for the hospital, Aizawa questions me.

"Have you got a chance to see the news today morning?" his voice calms my anxious heart.

"Eh? No, I haven't. I was in a rush to get here fast. "I cock my head to the side a little. The lawyer stands from where he was seated and passes me the papers. Not knowing exactly what to do, I take a look around the room before shifting my attention to the headlines.

"Mrs Takazuki, whose eldest son was saved by Shohoku Hospital yesterday during the accident has come forward with a shocking announcement." I glance up to catch Aizawa's eyes. He gave me nod indicating that I should read on.

"She has come out with a public apology towards Shohoku Hospital and their previous lifesaving staff leader Megumi Shiraishi. She accused the hospital as well as the doctor for not being skilled enough resulting in the death of her youngest son. The hospital have come forth with an apology and they have since fired Shiraishi-sensei. However in a public interview with the papers yesterday she has come forward with the truth. In her words, I can only blame myself for the death of my youngest child and his friend. My son was born with a weak heart, it has taken a turn for the worst in his last few days. However, I found a family's old recipe to cure such illness. I thought feeding him would do him good, even though I knew in the recipe there was something he was allergic to. I thought the amount was small and therefore insignificant. I'm not at all medically train, I didn't know that there could be chemical reaction. Without proper consultation, I fed him the medicine. At the beginning, it seem to be working fine. He didn't complain of any bad reaction or short breaths. During the day of the accident, he was down with a flu and cough. But I insisted that all he needed was fresh air, I fed him the medicine this time in double dosage seeing how he was sick. I thought it would help him get better. I told him to bring his friend and play with his new drone. Though I knew that the area where I suggested was a no fly zone, I figured no harm will come since nothing flies past there often. I can only imagine what happens next within his body system. The medicine started to react and he fainted in the river bank. His friend only wanted to help him, but he slips as well causing his wound and therefore causing a bacteria disease. Though I called for the Doctor Heli, my patience grew thin. I wondered what was taking them so long and used the drone to hopefully find the helicopter. But I lost control of it, causing it to spiral into the Heli and resulting in the crash. I could not bring myself to admit that I was the cause of his death, therefore I used Shiraishi-sensei and pushed all the blame onto her. Even after everything I took from Shiraishi-sensei, she still risked her life and career to help save my eldest son yesterday. I cannot wish that Shiraishi-sensei to forgive me, but I wish that the hospital gives Shiraishi-sensei another chance. She truly made no mistake, all she did was take on the anger of a foolish mother and the full responsibility of my mistake. I am so sorry for everything I've caused."

I let the papers drop from my hand and onto the nearest table. Stun was an understatement. Aizawa comes up towards me and reaches both his hands out. Laying in his arms was my badge, my stethoscope, my scrubs, my emergency phone. I felt my breath caught in my mouth.

"Welcome back, staff leader." he announces with a smirk on his face. I feel a smile forming across my face. Just as I reach out to take my items from his hands, the emergency phone buzzes to life with the announcement I've missed so dearly.

"Doctor Heli, engine start!"

* * *

 **Hey! This is sorta my notes:**

Thank you to everyone who have read this story! For following it, for liking it.  
Thank you for taking your time to review the past chapters.

To Sakurai-Space: Thank you so much for your comment! I'm really glad I manage to give Tachibana some justice. I think he is an amazing teacher. I love teachers who you can easily become friends with. They make learning much easier! (It could be just me but yeah) (PS Always waiting for you to update your fic! I enjoyed it very much!)

So this is the final chapter! Sorry it took so long, I just came back from Langkawi (It's a beautiful place, I got to see a waterfall for the first time. I swear Langkawi took a part of my heart and kept it) and work is insane so I'm sorry if this chapter is short and rush. Also as usual I know that the medical terms and situation are not real at all but please let it slide...

It's the last chapter so do leave a comment to tell me what you thought about the story! Or my writing or the characters! Anything actually, I would love to hear them and improve myself!

To anyone reading this anywhere in the world,

Have a good day/afternoon/evening/night!  
Let's spread love and joy and kindness, because the world is a hard enough place to live in.

 _Lastly, I'm sorry my notes are always long and all that but I just can't do short one without saying stuff. I hate myself._


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